The silence is beginning to be uncomfortable
Posted by Alli on June 4, 2010
Back in January, I suddenly had other people observing me in real life. It went from just me and the boys at home all day to co-habitating with the in-laws to opening up our home to handymen who were there for the purpose of getting our home in “for sale” mode. And with this real life observation going on, I suddenly became self conscious of my online life and what it looked like to people who didn’t participate or understand. It just became easier to step away from the laptop and find something else to do. And with our family in preparations to sell and buy a new home, there was plenty for me to do offline.
This isn’t an “I’m sorry for abruptly ditching this blog” post, just a way of typing out my justification for going MIA. It’s more for me.
If you have ever watched the web series “The Guild” then you know there is a character called Clara who is a mom who loves her online gaming. If you haven’t watched it, then I suggest you take about an hour or two out of your day to begin at the beginning and check out the series. (The episodes average 10 minutes or so.)
Anyway, Clara is an extreme caricature, but she scared me. As a mom who has (had?) an online life, I could never become someone who neglected her kids that much or alienated her husband due to the computer, but I wondered if those observing me saw me as a Clara-type mom. (For the record, Damon has assured me I am not Clara.)
In the past few months I have also seen the scales tip from balancing online life and real life in favor of real life for other reasons- one being the attention Tebow needs/ demands. While Clara is a character I dread becoming, in the episode below, starting at the 4:18 point, should demonstrate the tornado effect Tebow has when I am on the computer during his waking times. (To not watch the entire episode, just let it go through the commercial- that I don’t get money for- and the pause it to let the video load. Once loaded, you can drag the play point to 4:18.)
What those three kids did to her computer was about what one Tebow can do to mine. Or my mom’s, where Tebow recently turned off her computer while she was in the midst of typing an email.
So, I need to find the new balance point if I want to step back into online life. These two reasons are my biggest reasons for being silent until now. And it is kind of uncomfortable because I miss it. I’m going to try again… I really have no reason not to at least try.
Michelle said,
I feel your pain. It is such a crazy juggling act and I’ve taken time off from my blog for a few months of sporatic posting as well. I think for those of us who stay home, it’s a bit harder to juggle and you would think it would be easier… when I was working, I was able to sneak in 10 minutes here and there to blog or comment or jot down ideas for future posts. Now, my 10 minutes is filled with not only that, but watching Finn out of the corner of my eye, hearing the dryer signal it’s done, and attempting to figure out what the heck I was doing in the first place.
You will find your balance.
.-= Michelle´s last blog ..Blog Tips. =-.
Sarah R. said,
yes, it is always trying to find balance. for me, i am always trying to find balance even if i am not online. it has helped me to set strict time rules of when i am online. and our days really do go better here when the kids know they are not fighting the computer for my attention.
Ang. said,
I really understand how you are feeling! I am just now coming back to blogging after a year or so of blogging once in a while instead of daily. I for one have missed you.
I hope to see more often online.
.-= Ang.´s last blog ..KITTENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =-.
Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said,
Blogging is for fun. If you’re not doing it for fun then you shouldn’t do it…especially not every day. Only blog when you want to! That’s my motto. I don’t feel guilty anymore if I don’t post, but I do feel guilty if I don’t read my favorite blogs!
.-= Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings´s last blog ..Barbie distracts Zurg with new hairdo =-.
djinny said,
Balance is so hard and we moms have a tendency to feel guilt for any time we spend away from caring for our family. I always try to remember that staying sane is a way of caring for them too!
Btw, I am also a Chattanooga mom.
.-= djinny´s last blog ..New Dog- Part 2 =-.
djinny said,
I just started watching The Guild last night and that lady makes me want to go hug my kids, even though I try to limit my blogging until after they’re in bed. My hubby used to play the Stars Wars MMORPG and one of the ladies in his guild always had kids yelling in the background. It drove me nuts!
I think the fact that you worry about it means you are doing a good job. It’s the people who don’t even notice that have a problem.
.-= djinny´s last blog ..It’s all in the wording =-.
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