My Type A Mom Come to Jesus Moment
Posted by Alli on September 29, 2009
I’ve been home for three days now and I’m still overwhelmed with organizing my thoughts about the Type A Mom Conference. But, I’m going to give it a go.
The conference was well organized with lots of intriguing sessions and very smart people on panels. Some of these people I knew of via the blogosphere/ twitter and others I was being introduced to for the first time. But I had enough respect for Kelby (the original Type A Mom) to know these people were in front of us because Kelby respected them, therefore I sat there and listened intently.
While I sat there and listened to others tell their blogging stories and dish advice, I realized over and over again the word “community” was being used in reverence and awe. Other moms had stories of their communities stepping up to support them, their communities bringing them joy, or their communities pushing them to be better people. These communities were formed via their blogs and internet relationships.
And it was sitting the Crowne Ballroom of the Crowne Plaza Tennis & Golf Resort that I had a come to Jesus moment: I didn’t really have a community. And it is totally my own fault.
I went to the Type A Mom conference not really knowing anyone. I knew of people who would be there. I had interacted with some of them or just watched their tweets fly by on my twitter stream. I knew of six women I wanted to talk to, but I had tons of trepidation wondering, “Does she know me? Would she want to meet me?” I think I missed out on some of the joy of the conference that I saw in other moms who were meeting up with “sisters” or blog BFFs.
Part of feeling overwhelmed in these three days is the way I was challenged and knowing that in order for Type A Mom to have been worth it, I need to actually step up and meet the challenge. If I don’t do that, then the money and time spent was a waste. Realizing a lack of blog community was probably hurting me as a blogger has spurred on other thoughts re: Alli as a blogger.
First, I have to decide what my blogging goals are. Do I just want to write and take pictures? Do I want to be asked to go on PR trips? Should I be asking companies to loan me cars or computers? Do I want to make money for lattes? Or do I want to make money for mortgage payments? There are so many more questions I have to ask myself, but really, I need a goal.
Secondly, I have to make a plan and stick to it. I know I can’t just open my wordpress dashboard and start typing every night. This has been made even more apparent since Tebow made his appearance.
And third, I need to participate. I need to quit skimming and start participating in blogs by commenting and supporting the writers. I want to try my hand as guest posting or posting original content on community sites. I should maybe get a mentor (anyone want to sign up?).
So, I have these things to mull over and move on. And as I post in the future, I hope I not only become a better blogger, but start building a stronger community. Next year at Type A Mom, I want to find joy in seeing my “sisters.”
[tags]type a mom, conference, blogging conference, blog community, sisterhood[/tags]
Stacey @ Tree, Root, and Twig said,
You and I can form a “no community” community, how about that?
Honestly, I’ve been formulating a blog post about this topic, but maybe with a slightly different twist. I’ve been reading through all the posts from people I *know* I met and hung out with, and my name is NEVER mentioned. There are like two out of 2,000 conference pictures with me in them, and in both I am alone. There are no massive, “so glad I got to meet ____” tweets with my handle. I promise I’m not throwing a pity party for myself, it’s just been very interesting to realize that perhaps I’m not the community type? I enjoy people and finding friends, but truly, I’m kind of a solitary creature and I am not sure I make much of a statement in people’s memories. I didn’t mean to hijack your post, part of it just really resonated with me and I wanted to respond. 
.-= Stacey @ Tree, Root, and Twig´s last blog ..The Strangest Alphabet =-.
Alli said,
I think you hit a nail on the head with “perhaps I’m not the community type?” because I go through periods in my life where I am definitely not the community type. In college I really didn’t feel like a part of the community because I practically removed myself from it. But recently, in real life, I have been realizing how important community is in different areas of my life, so I guess I think it should translate in the blogging world. I have to deal with those three things I mentioned before I think I can really feel like a part of the community… so we will see how far I get.
Do you have goals for your blogging? I would be interested in reading your blog post on the topic.
Alli said,
Oh, and Stacey, it was a pleasure to meet you this weekend. Seriously, I enjoyed hanging out with you and really think we need to campaign for your husband to get transferred to Chattanooga.
Jody said,
As I read your post- and then the comment from Stacey (who I met and totally enjoyed chatting with)- I remember feeling that way after Blissdom. It took me a while, but I realized why.
I don’t read many of those blogging “rockstars”. They are not in my community. While I love going to the conferences and meeting such amazing women, my community happens to be in the Midwest- the blogs that I read are in the 5 state area surrounding Iowa (except for a few).
So don’t feel alone. Just know your community and realize that many in it don’t go to these conferences. You may find more of “your” people at Blissdom in Nashville. Myself, I created a conference in Iowa- http://www.iblogconference.com.
.-= Jody´s last blog ..Welcome to Have Kid Will Travel! =-.
Alli said,
Yes! Knowing my community I think will come out of figuring out my blogging goals. I realize I’ve kind of already started over on crumleyblog.com trying to insert myself in the homeschool community. And here on Always, Alli I have slacked off on the photography side of things, but it is a community I definitely want to be a part of. So I get what you are saying… knowing my goals will probably help me know my community. Three of the women I wanted to meet were part of those two communities (two of them are part of both!) and in just a few hours I learned so much from them that I know will help me.
Allie said,
My community is always changing , new people welcomed sometimes others are lost . There were many people at TypeAmom I had to go look up and they were “BIG” but I had never read them , it puts “Big” and “Little” in perspective for me.
I wish you luck as you find your place!
GrandPa Fred said,
Thanks for the comments about community.
Tina Kubala said,
I don’t feel part of a community in blogging. Nor in life, mostly. I’m not good at relationships. I’m good at a few intense ones and short term interactions, but not acquaintances over the long haul.
With blogging, I read tons of blogs, even comment, but I don’t feel like I’ve made anything but loose connections. It’s fun and I enjoy it, but I don’t have friends, just blogs I read.
Some of my problem is that I don’t have web access at work or anytime I’m not home in front of my computer. It seems like people who tweet and text all day are closer then those of us who don’t have the work day connection. I assume you don’t Tweet all day either with two wonderful boys to attend to.
.-= Tina Kubala´s last blog ..A Fall Meme =-.
Alli said,
You know, upon reflection, I have to admit I did have more of a community when I was heavily involved with PayPerPost and I still have ties to those bloggers. But I totally get what you are saying about changing community. Again, to pull out the homeschool example, now that we are homeschooling and blogging about it on crumleyblog.com, I have been actively seeking a place in that community. I can’t just seek out bloggers because they are “big” but bloggers who resonate with me and my goals.
Alli said,
Thanks for the support on my blog, Daddy! Sometimes I am able to put my thoughts into readable comments.
Alli said,
Tina I remember when I worked and feeling out of the loop because all these social connections I was becoming attached to were blocked. And now that I am home and have unlimited access, I definitely feel more connected. Of course there are days when I can’t sit and tweet or text and feel out of the loop. But I think I’m ready to take the next step to make those connections more than loose connections, ykim? And as I’ve been saying, putting together concrete goals will be a first step.
@sweetbabboo said,
Like you and Stacy, I had many moments of alone at the conference (though not entirely alone as I attended and roomed with a great blogging friend). I guess, the biggest difficulty for me is authenticity. If I’m being true to myself, then I’m not the type to run up and introduce myself to someone just because I read their blog. It takes a LOT for me to really feel a kinship with someone and perhaps I haven’t really been in the blogging community long enough to feel that way. The reality of me is that I maintain few but strong friendships. Despite technology being all the things that it is, for me, it still takes face time to establish that connection. I am well aware of the persona that I maintain in social networking despite wanting to be honest and open and I’m certain that most everyone does. There are just some things that I can’t/won’t broadcast for all the world. (And Twitter and blogs are all the world.)
I guess the solution that I’m heading towards is to find/focus on a local tribe/community. People who I regularly connect with through social networking but also occasionally can meet up with in person. It may be old school of me, but it fits.
My conference roomie Marty (@canape) established a local blogging community (@trianglemamas) and the relationships I have been able to form there are the best I’ve had in the blogging world. Maybe it’s because I can have face time with them, maybe’s it’s because I feel more included as a contributor, or maybe it’s both but having a smaller, local group has definitely made me feel more a part of the blogosphere even if it’s only my teeny tiny corner of it.
I do still however need to try to set goals, stick to a schedule, and participate better both at the local and broader level. Those are great goals, and I applaud you for spelling them out for me. I needed that.
And perhaps next year, after a year of getting to know each other, we’ll look like the group to be with.
-Abby
.-= @sweetbabboo´s last blog ..Type A Mom Conference =-.
Alli said,
Abby, I once read a blog post by Heather (@spirittibee) about meeting up with bloggy/ homeschool friends. I got all bummed with the thought, “Man, I wish I had bloggy homeschool friends to meet up with.” And then it hit me, why did they have to be bloggers? I had friends IN REAL LIFE I could spend time with. And that week I had some really excellent IRL time with friends in my neighborhood.
It goes back to local/ tribe community. I hope to build on that as well. I met Robin (@pensieverobin) for the first time at Type A Mom. She lives in my city! I read her blog and know that, but we just never connected until last weekend. I hope to get some more Robin-time before another conference throws us together, because really it is silly to not reach out to those who are in our own area.
Thanks for the thoughts!
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