For this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I myself will search for my sheep and look after them. 12 As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness.
Ezekiel 34:11-12

God has been coming to me in music lately. Yesterday I was driving around town listening to Claire Holley sing “What a Friend We Have in Jesus” when I was struck by the lines:

O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer.

It was like I was hearing the words for the first time. And it was really a wake up call for how I have been acting in these early weeks of pregnancy.

Any online pregnancy calendar, usually the daily ones, will say things like “Many women feel an increase in anxiety about now.” It is something I can really relate to because my anxiety increases about 200 times what it is normally. I worry about miscarriage, baby loss, defects, finances, chores, Mommy guilt, that one episode of ER I saw that one time (pick any of them that deal with pregnant women and babies), and who knows what else. Sometimes I feel like I am holding my breath until the next time I hear the baby’s heartbeat or see him/her on the ultrasound.

It is difficult to find a smile on my face in the first trimester.

When I heard those words being sung… peace… forfeit… needless pain… it was kind of like a slap in the face. How much needless pain had I been bringing on myself with my heightened anxiety? How come I was forfeiting peace by not offering up my concerns in prayer?

I keep it pretty much bottled up. And yet my anxiety bothers me more than morning sickness. I have a pill I can take for nausea. Why can’t I just sit quietly and pray about my concerns?

After my come to Jesus moment in the car yesterday, I immediately felt a peace. Today was much better, more productive than me sitting on the couch in terror of something going wrong.

Are you forfeiting peace? Take it to the Lord in prayer.

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